So yes I neglected this blog for a looooong time. Mostly because I had a work accident and I was spending lots of time at hospital. Still having a treatment, even after over a year, will probably continue it for at least 1 more year. But this is not why I’m writing.
So basically the bastard is getting married. I found by accident since I deleted all his details from my phone. For you to understand my anger, let me take you back a year and a half earlier.
So this guy said he likes me and wanna hang. I ended up agreeing cz why not? We should give a chance even if he’s not that awesome. So I naively did. And he suddenly stopped talking to me as he is “no longer emotionally ready”. Ok fine whatever I didn’t speak to him anymore. Then a few months later he is literally begging for me to give him a chance. He said he was affected by his fiancee leaving him a year ago and he wanted a second chance with me. I refused. He insisted. I told him I’m no bounce girl for him, he swore he was over her. More than 3 times he swore. I stupidly said okay because you know, he maybe had a rough patch. Well after a couple of weeks, I enter the hospital in a critical condition due to a work accident, with doctors saying there’s a chance I won’t make it. However, during my 6 days at ICU then dayyyyys in my hospital room, he didn’t say hi. Actually I contacted him first and he said he learned what happened and cried. But he didn’t call or text to check on me. Weeks passed by with him not talking to me unless I talk to him first from my hospital bed. He did not visit as he “has a phobia from hospitals”. Then he vanished. I was mad, you see, because he acted so low when he was the one who wanted the relationship when I was telling him let’s just be friends.
Fast forward 4 months, he contacted me saying he has something urgent to say. I don’t want to see him because he did not have any minimal human decency when I was in need of him beside me. He insisted it was urgent, for days insisting, so I met him. Here comes his 2nd asshole move: he said he stopped talking to me because he was too busy setting up his new shop. Imagine this: I am boiling by then, it is no excuse and I am telling him that but he takes it all as a joke and laughs like nothing big happened. You know, no biggie. So I leave angry and cut all ties with him.
Until today, when a mutual friend posted that this guy is marrying… drumroll… the woman he said he broke up with a year ago and who he doesn’t care about. Now you say maybe they reunited. But then, in a second, my mind remembered small details.
He never held hands in public, always insisted we meet up privately. Despite him knowing that nothing is happening physically between us because I wanted things slow, he always tried to insinuate sex. He insisted we keep it “down and low for the moment, till we are sure”. That bastard was using me and was cheating on his fiancee with my stupid ass! And I was too busy caring for him to pay attention.
So upon realising how stupid I am and how used I was, I cried my heart out and now I am so filled with anger that I cannot sleep.
I wrote this post hoping I could have some rest and calm my boiling blood. But I am not sure how much it will work out since sleeping is hard when one realises how hard he was played.
I never really hated anyone. But this man made me hate him and despise him so much that I would rather save Hitler’s life than save his. I am not used to hating this hard that my eyes wouldn’t sleep even though I feel exhausted. If anyonehas any tip on how to sleep I would appreciate it.