I know that feeling down sucks. I am an anxious person, prone to depression. I hate feeling down, I tried to keep it low, I tried to ignore it, and yet, it did not go away. Eventually, it was either stop myself from living, or stop my darkness before it takes over my life. You can guess what I chose. I know many suffer like me, many suffer much worse than me. I am not a psychiatrist nor a medical expert, I am merely an emotionally recovering person. So I wrote about what I am doing to get better, I hope it helps you.
The first step is not blaming yourself for it. You shouldn’t force yourself to “feel better” just because people around you do not feel comfortable seeing you like that. You are allowed to feel sad, down, tired, and fed up. You are allowed to be angry, if you don’t feel anger and sadness, you are not being honest to yourself.
Keeping your feelings down, bubbling them up, it will lead to an explosion and a larger damage. But don’t ruminate your dark thought, you are hurting yourself, and hurting those who love you truly. Returning to the same old dark idea is similar to you running with a bungee rope: no matter how far you get, it will pull you back to zero. Cut this cord and keep it as lesson, not as If you can’t do it alone, don’t feel ashamed, seek the help of trusted people or of professionals. You are not a desperate case, you are not crazy, you are not weak, you just need an external party to see things clearer than you.
Allow yourself to give every event its worth, be sad until you feel better. But always give yourself a healing time. If you lost a loved one, grief them, but don’t grief them until you stop living, grief them and understand that it’s ok to move on. You are not cheating on them, you are not being unfaithful because they died and you are still alive. You feel anger? Use the rule of 5: will it matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? For each yes you give, allow yourself a 30 seconds of anger. If it does not matter even for the next 5 minutes, I will not say don’t be angry, but let it go after 20 seconds. Allow yourself to empty your feelings, but don’t abuse it.
If someone or something keeps upsetting you, fix it or throw it away. You are not someone to push around and abuse, and a job or item should not make you feel bad. Is social media making you feel bad about yourself? Disconnect yourself. Is your friend always negative and making you feel awful? Talk it out. If they won’t stop it, then they don’t care about you, they just want to throw their emotional baggage on you to feel better, and you’re better off without them. Is your phone always breaking and stressing you out? You either repair it or stop using it, but don’t let a pack of inert material make your life miserable.
Get rid of your negative feelings by expressing them and dealing with the source of these feelings, not by repressing them. You may take a hobby, you may curse, you may cry, you may scream, you may shop, you may break a plate. It’s OK, do it. But keep 3 rules: do not hurt others, do not hurt yourself, and put a limit on the time and the resources you consecrate.
Hopeful Fatalist 