Feeling down sucks!

I know that feeling down sucks. I am an anxious person, prone to depression. I hate feeling down, I tried to keep it low, I tried to ignore it, and yet, it did not go away. Eventually, it was either stop myself from living, or stop my darkness before it takes over my life. You can guess what I chose. I know many suffer like me, many suffer much worse than me. I am not a psychiatrist nor a medical expert, I am merely an emotionally recovering person. So I wrote about what I am doing to get better, I hope it helps you.

The first step is not blaming yourself for it. You shouldn’t force yourself to “feel better” just because people around you do not feel comfortable seeing you like that. You are allowed to feel sad, down, tired, and fed up. You are allowed to be angry, if you don’t feel anger and sadness, you are not being honest to yourself.

Keeping your feelings down, bubbling them up, it will lead to an explosion and a larger damage. But don’t ruminate your dark thought, you are hurting yourself, and hurting those who love you truly. Returning to the same old dark idea is similar to you running with a bungee rope: no matter how far you get, it will pull you back to zero. Cut this cord and keep it as lesson, not as If you can’t do it alone, don’t feel ashamed, seek the help of trusted people or of professionals. You are not a desperate case, you are not crazy, you are not weak, you just need an external party to see things clearer than you.

Allow yourself to give every event its worth, be sad until you feel better. But always give yourself a healing time. If you lost a loved one, grief them, but don’t grief them until you stop living, grief them and understand that it’s ok to move on. You are not cheating on them, you are not being unfaithful because they died and you are still alive. You feel anger? Use the rule of 5: will it matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? For each yes you give, allow yourself a 30 seconds of anger. If it does not matter even for the next 5 minutes, I will not say don’t be angry, but let it go after 20 seconds. Allow yourself to empty your feelings, but don’t abuse it.

If someone or something keeps upsetting you, fix it or throw it away. You are not someone to push around and abuse, and a job or item should not make you feel bad. Is social media making you feel bad about yourself? Disconnect yourself. Is your friend always negative and making you feel awful? Talk it out. If they won’t stop it, then they don’t care about you, they just want to throw their emotional baggage on you to feel better, and you’re better off without them. Is your phone always breaking and stressing you out? You either repair it or stop using it, but don’t let a pack of inert material make your life miserable.

Get rid of your negative feelings by expressing them and dealing with the source of these feelings, not by repressing them. You may take a hobby, you may curse, you may cry, you may scream, you may shop, you may break a plate. It’s OK, do it. But keep 3 rules: do not hurt others, do not hurt yourself, and put a limit on the time and the resources you consecrate.

11 ways life is just like driving

Driving is one of the most dangerous things to do in life, especially in Lebanon (we know our reputation). I have spent long, and I do mean LOOOOONG hours on the roads to know that. Yet it’s a necessity. Just like life, we can’t keep on avoiding it. If we look at it, it really makes sense.

1. You need to get to point A to point B, but you never really know when you will make it, because no matter how well you plan, you will probably be a little earlier or a little later, that is if you make it at all. This applies to every plan we make in life. Lucky are those who stick to the plan and can make it just in time, but for the majority of us, that’s not how it’s gonna happen. Plus, the trip is never as we plan it, there is always the element of surprise hiding somewhere.

2. Along the way, you will find all sorts of obstacles:
– People driving too slow but blocking your way, the equivalent of the people who cannot comprehend progress and change, and don’t let others try it.
– Potholes that you either drive over, avoid, or fall in. They exist and you cannot really avoid them unless you change your road.
– People cutting you off, trespassing your lane, just being assholes overall. No need to ask you how many people you wish you never came across, yet you can’t really avoid them, unless you stay home.
– Road cuts, forcing you to change roads, or change destinations. You also
– Your own anger and rage. I have road rage most of the time, I haven’t experienced a long drive in the middle of the day during traffic without cursing someone in a long long time. And it does make the drive harder, just like our negative feelings make it harder for us to get through life. This is perhaps the toughest part.

3. Just by being on the road, you are already facing dangers and risks, just like being alive means you cannot be safe from danger. But would you rather live and take some risks? Or stay at home and miss the whole trip?

4. Sometimes, we need to make on the spot decisions, which affect the speed at which we reach our final destination and how we do it. But life is never about comfort, it’s about the excitement and difficulties we get over.

5. The road you choose affects your speed, and your presence on this road affects others’ trip. You can use the highway, you can use the old side roads or just make a whole new road, it’s up to you. But remember, the easy roads are the most traveled and the ones that get flooded the fastest. Sometimes, the good old roads are longer, but you may get faster to your destination. And if neither works, you can always create your own road and be a pioneer. Of course, there’s the cheaters, who can use pull strings, close the fastest roads, and get there while eliminating others unfairly. We hate cheaters.

6. You can drive yourself, you can trust others to drive you, you can choose a destination that is really close and walk the road, and you can stay at home. You either work hard on yourself, choose a road set to you by others or that goes through others, choose a road that is easy for you and doesn’t require much work, or you can live just because you didn’t die yet. If you choose a new road, it may not be guaranteed that you will reach the planned destination, but I guarantee you that you will enjoy the ride and learn more.

7. You can also drive alone or have company, and in both cases there’s a risk. The ones who drive alone may end up stranded and needing help, and those who choose the wrong company can end up in an accident or hurt others because they’ve been following bad advice.

8. The way you drive will impact the road others use after you. Your badly maintained car, your “tiny” gas or oil leak, and the bad tires you use can put others in danger. If you drive recklessly, you are a danger to yourself and to others. Always think of each action you take: is it worth the risk? If I do this step, will I create a benefit or will I be destroying others? If I do this change, am I making it better or worse? Reckless drivers always say: I am fast but I am careful, it will not happen to me, yet there are always casualties.

9. You can follow the rules or break them, and there’s a chance you will get away with it for a few times. But one day, you will be caught, and you will have to take responsibility of your actions. Think of it as karma in life, you think that you will do great no matter what, but it’s gonna come back to you somehow.

10. If you invest some time in maintaining the road, your trip and others’ is better. If you see a rock on the road an remove it, you benefit from it yourself and you let others benefit from it. You may see a pothole and ask for it to be repaired, or you may open a tire shop 50 feet away and make use of it, it’s all up to you. But don’t get upset if someone fixed the pothole, they’re not against you, and it’s their right to advance and choose a solution.

11. Sometimes, you decide to bypass a car but when the opportunity comes, you feel incapable of it, yet you block the road on others EVERY TIME they have the opportunity to bypass you and that car, instead of letting them pass. And sometimes you are that first car, and you drive while making sure no one can pass you by, even through you’re slowing everyone else. Selfish drivers consider themselves the priority just because they were there first, yet they only cause a delay for everyone else, and a long traffic road.
In the first case, you are not using the open opportunity correctly and you don’t let others use it. In the second case, you are making yourself an obstacle just to forbid others from going places, but you gain nothing. Which many of us do in life. We grab all opportunities and yet we don’t use them correctly, or we stop others from getting their share of opportunities for a fake sense of being the best. But the truth is, we are not the best, we are just breaking everyone else’s wings so we can be the only ones flying. We know that we are not good enough, and we don’t want to work on getting better, because breaking others is easier than working on ourselves.

Life is not about the destination, but about the journey. I hope your journey gets filled with great experiences and amazing people.