help – Hopeful Fatalist

I know that feeling down sucks. I am an anxious person, prone to depression. I hate feeling down, I tried to keep it low, I tried to ignore it, and yet, it did not go away. Eventually, it was either stop myself from living, or stop my darkness before it takes over my life. You can guess what I chose. I know many suffer like me, many suffer much worse than me. I am not a psychiatrist nor a medical expert, I am merely an emotionally recovering person. So I wrote about what I am doing to get better, I hope it helps you.

The first step is not blaming yourself for it. You shouldn’t force yourself to “feel better” just because people around you do not feel comfortable seeing you like that. You are allowed to feel sad, down, tired, and fed up. You are allowed to be angry, if you don’t feel anger and sadness, you are not being honest to yourself.

Keeping your feelings down, bubbling them up, it will lead to an explosion and a larger damage. But don’t ruminate your dark thought, you are hurting yourself, and hurting those who love you truly. Returning to the same old dark idea is similar to you running with a bungee rope: no matter how far you get, it will pull you back to zero. Cut this cord and keep it as lesson, not as If you can’t do it alone, don’t feel ashamed, seek the help of trusted people or of professionals. You are not a desperate case, you are not crazy, you are not weak, you just need an external party to see things clearer than you.

Allow yourself to give every event its worth, be sad until you feel better. But always give yourself a healing time. If you lost a loved one, grief them, but don’t grief them until you stop living, grief them and understand that it’s ok to move on. You are not cheating on them, you are not being unfaithful because they died and you are still alive. You feel anger? Use the rule of 5: will it matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 months? 5 years? For each yes you give, allow yourself a 30 seconds of anger. If it does not matter even for the next 5 minutes, I will not say don’t be angry, but let it go after 20 seconds. Allow yourself to empty your feelings, but don’t abuse it.

If someone or something keeps upsetting you, fix it or throw it away. You are not someone to push around and abuse, and a job or item should not make you feel bad. Is social media making you feel bad about yourself? Disconnect yourself. Is your friend always negative and making you feel awful? Talk it out. If they won’t stop it, then they don’t care about you, they just want to throw their emotional baggage on you to feel better, and you’re better off without them. Is your phone always breaking and stressing you out? You either repair it or stop using it, but don’t let a pack of inert material make your life miserable.

Get rid of your negative feelings by expressing them and dealing with the source of these feelings, not by repressing them. You may take a hobby, you may curse, you may cry, you may scream, you may shop, you may break a plate. It’s OK, do it. But keep 3 rules: do not hurt others, do not hurt yourself, and put a limit on the time and the resources you consecrate.

We do not realize how lucky we are, to have the ability to enter a shop, check items, and buy the item, without overthinking of the cost. So many people have to choose between a loaf of bread and a shirt to put on their back. Although you may think that making free donations can help them, they easily hurt these people’s dignity and may not even be useful for them at all, since many NGOs cannot tailor clothes per group and end up sending the same package to all the people it’s taking care of.

Luckily, a team of Lebanese students in 2016 decided to change things. They created FabricAid, an initiative that gives second hand clothes a new life, and allows underprivileged individuals to enjoy a shopping experience without worrying about the costs.

Omar Itani, a founder at FabricAid and the man behind the idea

The team created a network of donation bins, and made a collaboration with businesses and NGOs to collect clothes. They check the items, select what’s in good condition to be reused, clean it up, iron it, tag it, and put it in their shops. They have pop-up markets called Souk El Khlanj and several permanent markets. Souk el Khlanj means the shop of like-new items.
The shops are located in areas where there is a high level of poverty, they are just like any other shop, with well organized merchandise and fitting rooms. The prices range between 0.3$ and 2$, so that people who have low income can shop and pay without having to worry about the bill being out of their purchasing power.

One of Home of Hope Lebanon NGO’s children choosing clothes at a shop that was set up by FabricAid as a collaboration

The items that are not fit for resale are sold in bulk to existing second-hand stores for much lower prices, or they can be used to create new items for RemAid, FabricAid’s own upcycled fashion brand. In 2018, a partnership between RemAid and ESMOD (one of the best fashion design school in Lebanon) was made, and 100 items were created by students and sold in a special event, where prices of unique clothing items made from the used fabric were between 50$ and 150$. The event was made to support FabricAid’s cause. The items were redesigned by ESMOD fashion students and sewed by Sawa for Development and Aid’s women refugee tailors.

2018’s event to exhibit the clothes made by ESMOD’s students for RemAid

This team has also been able to win multiple competitions, and is one of the few to reach over 200 000$ in funds through competitions. Their work has contributed to alleviating two major problems: clothes waste and poverty aid.

Through their amazing initiative, so far, FabricAid has been profitable, created jobs, and made great numbers:
– 55,000 Kgs of clothes collected
– 37 markets set up
– 7,000 beneficiaries
– 17 staff members
– 32,685 items sold
– 19 clothing collection bins distributed

The clothes donors are also benefiting, as every once in a while, a new partnership between FabricAid and businesses that support the cause is seeing the light. For example, Jaleesa, a babysitting business, offers discounts to its clients. All these collaborations can be found on their Facebook page, and they’re updated every once in a while.

If you are interested by their initiative, wish to make a contribution, get in contact with the team, or just wish to learn more, you can always check their website and their Facebook account. If you don’t live in Lebanon, make sure to search for similar initiatives or maybe to share the news about FabricAid to encourage others to make similar initiatives in their own communities!

Also, please don’t forget to follow my startup news on Facebook, Instagram and the Website.