A rise in narcissism

With the numerous social media platforms, we are able to reconnect and stay in touch with so many acquaintances and friends. It is even the best way to know about a person’s taste and personality. It is also a good chance for us to observe the narcissism growing in a rather scary way, so fast that it is becoming almost normal for a person to fall in love with herself.

While being well aware of how important it is to love ourselves, so we know what we deserve and know our own worth, it is becoming, at least for me, somehow too unhealthy the amount of love we can give to ourselves, to the limit that we praise ourselves and flirt with ourselves, and others who fail to see us the same way are just too jealous or too blind to see it.
In Lebanon, we have a saying: “a monkey in its mother’s eyes is a deer”, meaning that the eyes of our loved ones see us more beautiful than we really are, whether in character or appearance. But it seems that it should be changed to “a monkey in its own eyes is a deer”! I know some would say this is harsh to say, or I am just jealous or something like that. But it is actually becoming too unhealthy, the amount of love we are showing to ourselves. I have been observing the people I have on different social medias for a while now, mostly Facebook. Some occasionally post pictures of themselves, some do it all the time, and others hardly ever post a picture. We have the people who share every meal with us, the ones who share their events, and those who are silent, sharing the football results or a status, hardly anything personal being publicly announced. So far, it’s normal, if we compare to the real social life offline, there are people who share a lot, others who are quiet. But the thing I have been noticing and that really seems worrying is the number of people flirting with themselves.

I somehow find it a bit too much when a girl is talking about her own appearance in the way that a guy should be: “her eyes glow like diamonds, her hair is as smooth as silk”. Posted by her on her own photos. Another time, I came across something like “her eyes speak the truth, they shine in the darkest times, and her tear speaks without words”… also on her own pictures. Shouldn’t that be the job of her “fans” to speak this way?? And the same goes for men, who however seem to show abs and bulges with less words.

Am I the only one who thinks that the increasing number of similar posts and similar people is a bit too concerning? Not to talk about the crazy number of selfies daily! I had to restrict some people’s posts off my newsfeed as I was unable to see anyone else’s posts! And that damn selfie-stick, it’s like the cherry on top of the cake! I hate it so much, I can’t see those pictures with the stupid stick at the bottom of the photo, and it is everywhere! Who goes out with and extendable stick and take pictures in a crowded club or at a wedding??

On the other hand, there is another concern, the increasing number of people feeling bad with themselves because they are not following such trends, or because they do not fit the new beauty or cool standards. I mean there were bullies and mockers, but now, even when people are a the comfort of their own house, they can’t communicate online without being forced to see people who are showing off and somehow rubbing other people’s faces with what they have. You can see parties, expensive clothes, fake boobs, heavy make-up, fake smiles, and it all seems to be what you should be doing this season. There is a big number of people who are “giving no shit” about such trends, but these people have faced lots of pressure and made it. An even higher number of people is being influenced and they can’t handle the pressure. They crack and hate themselves, to the point of either altering their appearance and their thinking to fit in, or just hurt themselves in an attempt to run away. I still have in mind a young girl in her teenage years who committed suicide after so many people mocked her online and bullied her.

However, I felt that I am maybe the only one out there concerned about this trend, as everyone was into it. So I started searching about studies or medical opinion, anything that would help me feel like I am not the only one concerned. And in one google search, I found thousands of articles and studies who are alerting of this rise of narcissism and its bad effects. I will be sharing some links for those who are interested in reading them at the end of this post. And they all agreed that the social media has turned from an intermediate mean to connect with others, to a self-loving space, where people want to make others jealous and are trying to even be more self-centered.

Should we abandon Social Medias? No, I am against such ideas, Social Medias are also a great way to spread knowledge, to feel less disconnected, to help others, to increase awareness to many issues. However, there should be an awareness campaign about such issues, it is very unhealthy to encourage such behaviors, we are forgetting others, becoming egocentric beings, and this could only lead to more disasters! People who are too busy with themselves forget others’ needs and problems, forget that there are people out there suffering and that they could help them. Self-centered people only care about their own comfort, forgetting about the impact of what they do on their surroundings, forgetting that they can be a change in this world, that instead of changing their make-up and their clothes, they can be changing the world and making it a better place.

I wish we can all raise awareness that it is more important to work together towards fixing this world’s problems, instead of caring about our pictures and how to make others feel bad about themselves. Let’s say NO to getting desensitized towards others because we are too self-absorbed!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-firestone/facebook-narcissism_b_1905073.html
http://www.theguardian.com/media-network/media-network-blog/2014/mar/13/selfie-social-media-love-digital-narcassism
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140911175326-66132034-social-media-and-narcissism-rise-of-a-self-obsessed-society
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/07/140703102510.htm
http://www.ted.com/conversations/18501/are_people_really_more_narciss.html
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/young-people-today-are-more-narcissistic-than-ever/5457236